With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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