my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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