didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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