Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
