Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
