All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
