Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
