try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
