She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
