Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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