I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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