It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
