If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
