I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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