I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sext me about skeletons
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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