Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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