when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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