I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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