Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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(309): View more from Illinois

"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.

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(773): View more from Illinois

She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!

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(812): View more from Indiana

You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw

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(614): View more from Ohio

this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.

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