Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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