im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
