Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
