I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
