Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
do herpes really smell.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize