i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
