Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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