I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
