Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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