Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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