Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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