you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
