YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
