Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
