I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
