There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
