i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we're so committed to being not committed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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