Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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