Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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