Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
