Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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