I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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