please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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