note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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