i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
