I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
