dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
