ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
