i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
