guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
