No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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