woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
