There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
