I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
