But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
