you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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