he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
