well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
