wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
