I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Even the bartender felt bad for me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize