btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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