My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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