There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
